Newly-ordained Fr Adam Kirkeby’s vocation story didn’t start with a great revelation or an “aha!” moment. Rather, it was a call in quiet moments, a gentle pull, something that was always there waiting for him to respond.
“It was something that I started to feel drawn to when I was a very young boy. Sometimes it would go into the background, but it always came back,” he told NZ Catholic.
Bishop Stephen Lowe, apostolic administrator of Hamilton diocese, ordained Fr Kirkeby on August 6, at the Cathedral of the Blessed Virgin Mary in Hamilton.
Playing priest
The new priest told NZ Catholic that, when he was a boy, he would sometimes “play priest”.
“I’d set up a little altar or a prayer table and put a cloth on it, have the soft toys lined-up. One time, I made a stole out of toilet paper. I got promptly told off by mum,” he said, laughing at the recollection.
With three priests in the family, there wasn’t a lack of good example to follow. Fr Chris Skinner, SM, is an uncle, while Frs Bob Lee, SM, and former Puhoi parish priest Fr Frank Skinner are great uncles.
Faith was fostered in a loving home environment.
“Right from when I was young, faith was part of my life. It was never forced or anything like that. It was just an organic part of life,” he said. “It was nurtured in a very loving way, a very supportive and gentle way in my family.”
Fr Kirkeby recalled that his mum used to read him the Fatima story using a cartoon version. “[The Fatima story] helped [me] fall in love with the faith. It was really nice this year when Pope Francis consecrated Russia and Ukraine, that was a great moment. We were in the church watching it live early in the morning,” he said.
After university, he thought about going to the seminary. “At the time, I thought, you don’t have enough life experience. ‘You’re too young’,” he said.
Fr Kirkeby taught at Catholic primary schools in Taupo, Hamilton and Tokoroa for six years.
“[The call to priesthood] was still very much there during that time and, at the end of it, I was hoping to try it,” he said. “Sometimes, I just wanted to run a hundred miles away from it. There were times I thought it would be great to have a family.”
Then, there was another discernment.
“Where was I going to go? Was it diocesan or a religious order? So, that was a factor. I’ve always felt diocesan was the strongest calling. It kept coming back to that and so that’s where I ended up. It’s been a great journey,” he said.
Powerful thing
Fr Kirkeby said that, in some ways, his years at the seminary had gone by very quickly.
“So much has happened. Six and a half years is a big chunk of my life,” he said.
Friendships with other seminarians were forged and struggles were faced.
“There were times when I had questions. But God always drew me back,” he said.
“One thing was just becoming conscious of my weaknesses. And sometimes, (I think) it would be great to have a family and stuff like that. But, as I say, God always calls me back and I’m very, very happy where I am now. But I had to work through all that,” he said.
His inspiration in his journey came from the people he met.
“One of the most powerful things to me is to be with people when they’re going through their struggles or times of difficulty, just listening to them. And hopefully, to be there just so they don’t feel alone,” he said.
Fr Kirkeby spoke of an occasion of meeting with a lady who was bedridden. “She had a huge smile on her face. It was just so powerful that, despite all her difficulties, there was a joy there,” he said.
He also met a bedridden man who used to do a lot of community events and helped many people.
“He (the man) could no longer do that. He was still greeting people when people entered his room and prayed for them,” Fr Kirkeby said. “That was such a powerful message.”
Deep inner calling
Fr Kirkeby said that there were lots of opportunities to meet people who would “share the rawness of the difficulties of their lives”.
He said it is really important for him to be a priest who cared and listened to the people.
“One of the big things [about] why I joined the priesthood is [that] I wanted to serve the people in New Zealand at the diocesan level. When I was discerning before, that was always front and centre, that I wanted to serve the people of New Zealand,” he said.
“I want to be a priest that people feel comfortable to talk to, someone approachable, and I want to be someone who can be there to listen to people in the ups and downs of life, the joys and struggles. And, as best I can, to share the love of Jesus for us.”
He said he knows that he can do these things even if he wasn’t a priest.
“Sometimes it’s hard to explain. There’s this deep inner calling, this voice, this urge to be drawn into God and to help people,” he said.
He expressed his gratitude to the seminary staff, as well as Bishops Stephen Lowe and Michael Gielen who helped him in his discernment journey.
“Their support clarified things. It became very clear that God is calling me to where I will be happiest,” he said.
Trust in the Lord
Fr Kirkeby remembered walking down to the waters near the venue where they held the vocation retreat in Hamilton.
“I went down to the water . . . just thanked God for his kindness, tears in my eyes. It was just a happy time,” he said.
After receiving the confirmation letter of his ordination recently, Fr Kirkeby went back to that place. “It was a great length from the beginning to the end of the journey,” he reflected.
To those discerning the priesthood, Fr Kirkeby has this piece of advice.
“Discernment is a process. Just let the Lord speak. Take time to listen to the Lord. It can come in different ways. You are definitely not going to have an angel appear to you sort of thing, (who will say) come and join us,” he said. “Sometimes, it is in quiet gentle moments of life [that] there’s that deep call of the Lord.”
“Trust in the Lord. He knows what’s best for us and what will bring us the greatest happiness in this world.”
Sacraments
At the August 6 Mass, Bishop Lowe called on Fr Kirkeby to “celebrate the sacraments beautifully” so that he (Fr Kirkeby) will be able to transform ordinary things into something extraordinary.
The bishop’s homily drew on the Transfiguration of Christ (Luke’s Gospel).
“When Jesus took Peter, James and John up the mountain, they went up with Jesus with whom they were so familiar. It was an ordinary moment, and yet something extraordinary happened on that mountaintop. They saw Jesus in that glory, and they shared in that glory,” Bishop Lowe said.
“The simple things of the sacraments: bread, wine, water, oil, and you, Adam Kirkeby, as priest, we see ordinary things become extraordinary,” he said.
Bishop Lowe said that Jesus asks his priests to celebrate the sacraments, not as formulas, but in a way that would deepen the faith of the People of God.
As one who will break open the Word, Bishop Lowe told Fr Kirkeby to “be a priest who understands the Moses, the one who gave to the people the law of love which is fulfilled in Christ. Be a priest who understands and boldly lives the Elijah, the prophetic voice that is Christ that speaks to people in the complexity of daily living.”
The bishop said that it is only in administering the rites beautifully that “priests become invisible as we celebrate the sacraments, so that it is not about us, it is about Christ”.
Bishop Lowe also noted that the former primary school teacher, in choosing the simple Trinity Song as a hymn for the ordination, vowed to give his (Fr Kirkeby’s) life to each of the persons in the Trinity.
The bishop also thanked Fr Kirkeby’s parents, Carmel and Mark, for the gift of their son to the mission of the Church.
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