For this week, I asked my husband to reflect on “Being a Modern Catholic Father”. We were both raised in Catholic families — he has four siblings, I have three, and we both grew up in Auckland. He works full time in IT in Auckland, as well as supporting the children and myself in all that we do, both as individuals and as a family.
Mike: I was blessed when I grew up. I had a loving father who set an amazing example for me to follow. My father is an inherently
good man, who demonstrated all the right Catholic ideals — he cared for his children, worked hard for his family, and gave back to
his community and to the Church. I’m incredibly lucky to have had a great role model to follow on from.
Today, it’s easy to talk the talk. However, trying to walk the walk that was demonstrated to me, everything seems more busy, and
the modern world has meant that it’s harder and harder to let my children just be children — the Internet has been both a blessing
and a curse; instant access to boundless knowledge, and all the good that can come from that, is tarnished with the issue that
it’s become harder and harder to protect them from things they’re not emotionally equipped to handle. While the Internet can
be used for good, it’s hard to sort the wheat from the chaff — and protecting your children from all that is bad there seems like a
constantly escalating arms race.
On top of this, life seems to be more and more hectic — every day there’s not just a busy day at work, but then all the stuff that
follows you home; there’s the need to be there for your wife and children; then, come the weekend, there’s always a long list of
things to do — sport, extracurricular activities, social gatherings . . . sometimes it feels hard to find the time to find a space for God
in all the madness.
As Catholic fathers, we are called to demonstrate to our children what it means to be Catholic — to love our fellow humans, to
protect and provide for our family, to make sure God is first and foremost in all that we do. In the busy, challenging world in which
we all live, it vital not to lose sight of this.
Finding time in the madness that is modern life to place God front and centre is vitally important; to that I am eternally grateful to
the support given to me by my wife and my fellow fathers.
To this end, it’s really important for us to remember and recognise that we’re not alone in this struggle — there are families
all around us who struggle with the same challenges as ourselves. Reach out to your fellow Catholic fathers, and use the community around you for support and assistance; my children and I are active participants in a number of boys’ clubs with other Catholic
families, which are a great chance for my children to see that, in spite of the overwhelming secular nature of the world they’re
shown, there are other people who are “normal”, who believe the same as we do, and try to live up to the same ideals.
To my fellow Catholic fathers, let me close with a message; you are not alone, this is an awesome journey and an awesome gift we
have been given, the greatest adventure that we can have! Cherish the time that you have and make the most of it, because the time
goes so fast. But remember, that we are helping to shape the next generation, and they watch all that we do, so be the best example
that you can be.
1 Peter 5:9; “But resist him, firm in your faith, knowing that the same experiences of suffering are being accomplished by your
brethren who are in the world.”
Helen Luxford is a physician, working part-time. She is a parishioner of St Michael’s, Remuera. Together with her husband Michael, they are raising their children in the Catholic Faith and reflecting on the challenges and joys that brings.
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