Being in love for 65 years

Love has kept Clare and Gilbert Cole together for 65 years.

The loving couple celebrated their anniversary on June 4, and they were blessed by Fr Joe Grayland at a Sunday Mass at Our Lady of Lourdes parish in Palmerston North, where they have been parishioners for more than 20 years.

“I made the right decision in the first place. Or we did. We knew we wanted to be married to each other. And that was that,” Mrs Cole said. “When you’re both Catholics, it makes a difference. We always go to Mass together.”

“We’re as thick as thieves,” Mr Cole chimed in. They don’t remember a time when they had a big disagreement. When they had little ones, they just talked things through.

“We always manage to get through things when life is unpleasant. But we love each other, and that was that,” Mrs Cole said.

“Hard to believe she loves me, but there you go. Life is just full of surprises. I definitely love her, so it is all good,” Mr Cole added.

The two met when Mrs Cole, a teacher, came to South Featherston to teach.

“And it was well-known among the locals that the new teacher would marry one of the local boys. Unfortunately for Clare, she drew the short straw. We were married in Dunedin about a year later,” Mr Cole said.

They have five children, seven grandchildren and 11 great grandchildren, who were all present for the celebration.

Mrs Cole said they went into the marriage with the mindset that it would be for life. The secret, she said, is “realising that nobody’s perfect”.

Which earned a hearty laugh from Mr Cole. “She says that looking hard at me,” he said, laughing.

“She’s a very lovely lady. We were having a lovely meal and I said, ‘you know, I didn’t marry you just because you’re a good looker’,” he teased her. “She’s a hell of a good cook! That’s got to be a bonus.”

Mr Cole was a dairy farmer, a shearer and at one point, a butcher. Having a butcher’s shop was good, because it connected them to the small community of Rongotea in the Manawatu, they said.

When they retired, they made the decision to get exercising. “We went tramping and [were with] walking groups, that sort of thing, and we just kept together,” Mrs Cole said.

“I was tinny enough to have made the New Zealand Triathlon team [over 65] for three years. And Clare used to go on and be there for me in Australia and America,” Mr Cole added.

He said marriage should be the “obvious thing” when two people love each other. “They must take that obvious step,” he said.

“They should be going into marriage realising that it’s going to be for life,” Mrs Cole said. “It’s not going to end until we pass on. And we’re not looking forward to that part.”